HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Holler random numbers while someone is counting

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room

Staple pages in the middle of the page

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

Honk and wave to strangers

TYPE IN UPPERCASE

dont use any punctuation either

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

type only in lowercase

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times. "DO YOU HEAR THAT?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets

Sing along at the opera

Ask people what gender they are

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

mumble at people, when they say what ask them what. if they ask you what u said say "i dont know what did i say."